Transformers (film series): Best to Worst

I don’t normally write anything with lists, I more like to leave it unspoken. However, I believe this requires at least a little explanation… The pictures above list the order in which I believe is best to worst in the Transformers series.

  1. Very clearly the first movie is a big high point in the series. It was the first time that we had gotten Transformers on the big screen in live action. The plot was very simple as well as interesting, making a good “origin story” for why the transformers are on earth, as well as where they came from. Shia was actually quite good in this, his high point in the series, as well as Megan Fox’s.
  2. Dark of The Moon, although a stupid title, outrageously long, and far fetched at many points is a LOT of fun. It is the last movie that Shia is in, welcoming along Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as his new love interest (who I wish would have stuck around). This is the movie that shit starts to get kicked up a notch. Like I said, it is a bit more far fetched than the rest up to this point but I don’t expect realism out of my Transformers movies.
  3. The Last Knight is the most recent Transformers movie and the second one since Mark Wahlberg took over the series. Mark is a far more experienced and superior actor to Shia and can keep a bad movie going with his screen time. Which, he had a lot of with the stupid run time of this movie. It is LOADS better than his first Transformers movie (though I don’t blame him), yet it is still quite bad. The only reason it is number three on this list is it brought some originality to the series after far too long of the same bland thing.
  4. Age of Extinction… I’ll be honest, this movie is downright terrible. The first 20 minutes or so that follow Wahlberg as a failed inventor scrounging scrap with TJ Miller was better than the rest of this film. The only reason it is not at the bottom is because of how bad Revenge of the Fallen actually is.
  5. Revenge of the Fallen… A huge pile of shit movie that almost ruined the franchise and leaves me saying for every movie, “Well… at least its not worse than two!”. The script is terrible and downright laughable at times, the new transformers make absolutely no sense and break every rule of the transformers that we have come to know, the plot is stupid as hell, the characters seem to be completely different people, and they gave a giant robot some BALLS. Enough said.

 

 

Coffee Shop Tycoon game review

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I’m a huge sucker for all tycoon games and simulation games. I scour Steam looking for whatever I can get. Planet Coaster, Project Highrise, Cities Sylines, Game Dev Tycoon, and now this. I first saw the Youtuber Jacksepticeye playing Coffee Shop Tycoon and thought to myself, “oh my god, that looks just like Game Dev Tycoon but with coffee!” I bought it immediately. For the most part I enjoyed what I did play of the game. I beat it in two hours though so it wasn’t much… Coffee Shop Tycoon starts you out with a small building and very little money. You have to build everything in your shop, buy coffee machines, hire employees, and even learn new coffees. For the most part I was always profitable and my reputation steadily increased, so I had no worries. Very quickly the game started to become boring. I had bought everything I could possibly buy, trained my employees as high as they would go, and made every system within the shop automated so I could walk away from my computer for a day if I so pleased. I was very excited when I figured out how to buy a new building then, obviously, because I wasted more to do. In Game Dev Tycoon, a game that seems REMARKABLY similar in many aspects, when you upgrade to a bigger building you unlock more options and your employees move with you. In Coffee Shop Tycoon, however, you keep your money but need to rebuy everything… All in all I had fun at first but was incredibly disappointed when I realized I had done everything it had to offer within two hours.

Bleed For This movie review

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Bleed for This is a movie that, for a lot of people, I believe went rather under the radar. Which, is quite surprising considering it is a high point for Miles Teller who is having nothing BUT highs as of  late. For me however, I jumped on it (after missing it in theaters unfortunately). Bleed for This is a true story biopic that follows Vinny Pazienza (Miles Teller), a world champion boxer who breaks his neck in a car accident, gets a halo installed and the reenters the boxing scene against all odds. What I find amazing about this movie is that it starts out with almost a Wolf of Wallstreet feel to it with the fame, glory and the over the top way of representing it. The atmosphere of the movie stays there and rides that wave until it, very suddenly, changes into a serious drama. Normally this would kill a movie with such a massive change, but in this case it elevates it from being just another boxing=fame movie we have seen a hundred times… Miles Teller, who I always go on and on about, once again brings in a stellar performance, perfectly portraying the desperation that this boxer feels throughout the entire film. Watching him go from barely being able to move in his own bed to pushing himself in areas that are seriously life threatening is nothing short of inspiring. This is not only a great boxing movie alongside many others, but a great movie.

Top 5 Channing Tatum performances

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Downsizing trailer review

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I do love some Matt Damon, weird plots, and comedy. Downsizing is a 2017 film that is getting released in December. The movie exists in a world where people can get shrunk down to a miniature size and live life very extravagantly because of this. The trailer starts out where I assume the movie does, with this concept getting introduced to the world by unveiling the first (publicly) shrunk down human. Later on Matt Damon hangs out with a friend of his played by Jason Sudeikis who convinces him that he and his wife should get shrunk down. So, they do! After that this trailer is nothing but an awesome montage of all the stuff you can do as a tiny person with massive amounts of cash… So, this is a legitimately interesting trailer, and hopefully movie. It is just a remarkably original idea and I’ve never seen or read anything like it! It is an original screenplay by Alexander Payne who is also directing. Payne is a relatively unknown director. Not bad, just small name. I am not too familiar with his work but, I am curious to see not only how he handles a screenplay so unique, but a star as bright as Damon. Everyone knows that Matt Damon is a wonderful actor, I only hope he is properly utilized… Given the fact that the trailer gives no hints as to what a conflict in the movie could be, there isn’t much speculation I can make. Since the shrinking process is irreversible, perhaps an issue arises that can only be solved by being big. Who knows? Either way though I am not missing this one while it is in theaters.

The Disaster Artist trailer review

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The Room is a special kind of perfect storm of stupid. Tommy Wiseau’s acting, the writing, the nonsense, everything ABOUT The Room made it possibly the worst movie ever made that is just so fun to watch… Who better to make a movie about the creation of such a shitstorm than these guys? Whenever Seth Rogan and James Franco take the wheel I know I’m in for a treat of comedy, and as is their style they bring their friends! Dave Franco, Alison Brie, Zac Efron, Kate Upton, Kristen Bell, Adam Scott, Bryan Cranston… These are just a FEW of the names to appear in this movie. I honestly don’t know how this could fail with the power they are bringing to the table on such an obvious home run of a movie idea. I look forward to seeing it play out.

The Big Sick movie review

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I am truly in love with this movie. I watched it, and then turned around and watched it again the next day. The Big Sick follows Kumail Nanjiani in the true story of how he and his wife met and the turmoil they went through with his culture and her going in to a coma shortly after they got together. The Big Sick starts out as your average romantic comedy. It made me laugh and cringe and say cheesy shit like “awww”. Shortly in to the film though, Emily falls sick and goes into a coma right after a nasty break up between the two caused by his culture and family expectations. After that he must face her parents and his feelings for her… This movie is a perfect combination of multiple different genres. I found myself laughing, immediately followed by sadness and happiness. All the characters have great depth, with shining performances actually coming from Ray Ramona and Holly Hunter as Emily’s parents. Their relationship with their daughter and marriage is as important to you as the main story. What makes this movie even more heartfelt is the fact that it is incredibly accurate to the true story. It is a wonderful story that I may never get tired of seeing.

Death Note movie review

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Death Note follows Light Turner, a high school boy that finds a book from Ryuk the death god. Any name he writes in this book, that person get killed. So Light, accompanied by his crazy girlfriend set out to make the world a better place through death. Something like that does not go unnoticed forever though. So, L, one of the best investigators in the world sets out to find who has been killing everyone off… Death Note has had impressively poor perception by not just critics, but the general public as well. Death Note is an adaptation of an anime that is an adaptation of a manga. So, obviously, the movie is going to be different and not going to include everything. What I find most important with any adaptation whether it be from a book or a TV show is that the movie capture the feeling of its source material, which in my opinion it most certainly has. On top of that, if anyone had not seen the TV show this is a very good stand alone film. From the very beginning it jumps right into the action and keeps you guessing the entire film. The suspense builds throughout the entire movie with a great resolution at the end (and a cliffhanger that had me yelling at the screen). Fantastic performances are brought by Nat Wolf, Margaret Qualley, Lakeith Stanfield, and Willem Dafoe. Willem Dafoe as Ryuk is by far the standout performance in this film however. Not only does Ryuk look just brilliant and terrifying, but I can’t imagine anybody delivering him as perfectly as Dafoe can and does. So yes, although this is not a perfect adaptation of the show, nothing could be. At least it is true to it and capture its essence, so enjoy it for what it is.

The Rebound movie review

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This is just a classic case of me wanting to watch something different than what I normally watch that ended up going horribly… The Rebound follows a single mom of forty that just got divorced, hires a twenty-five year old nanny, and falls for the nanny. Pretty basic plot that has the opportunity for some laughs! Well its just too damn bad that I didn’t laugh once than!.. Although this movie is not what you would call “studded” with killer actors, they do bring in a couple good leads with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Justin Bartha. Although these two actors do seem to be giving it everything they have, they were not given a lot to work with at all. The premise is very simple, but beyond the MAIN story everything else just seems to have been randomly thrown in here hoping that some comedy sticks until they can work back around to the story. The script is awful and cringe-worthy even at times, with the most stereotypical lines for any romance being very prominent. And, finally, at the end of the movie they throw in a twist that derails the entire shitty experience, tossing it deep down into the depths of movie writing hell that had me LAUGHING at how blatantly obvious it was that they knew they had a pile of shit and were just trying to polish up their steaming pile with a twist out of left field.

Going in Style movie review

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Although I am definitely a fan of the IDEA of movies about old guys doing cool stuff old guys don’t do, they never really pan out to their full potential. Going in Style is a lot better than lets say Stand Up Guys or Last Vegas, but it is far from an actual good movie. For that limited genre however, it is the best. Going in Style stars Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, and Alan Arkin. These three gentleman decide that they are going to rob a bank after they are wronged by it… Going in Style is blessed with 3 of the most seasoned and influential actors alive today, has easy action-comedy built right into the story itself, and could seemingly do no wrong. Now, its problem is not with the actors but with the pacing. Nothing is actually robbed until halfway through the movie. That would not be bad if the planning of the heist was made interesting, which from the oceans movies, we know can be as fun as the heist itself. AFTER the heist however the movie steps it up a notch and is quite enjoyable. Forty-five minutes of interest in an hour and a half movie does not make a good movie though.