Category Archives: EVERYTHING

Colossal movie review

268x0w.png

I actually watched this movie about a week ago and forgot to write a review until right now. I actually think that is the best thing I could have done to review this movie though. You kind of have to mull this one over for a few days. Anyway… Colossal follows an alcoholic woman who after a bad breakup moves back to her childhood town. She gets black out drunk one night only to wake up and see that Seoul had been attacked by a giant monster the night before, eventually realizing that SHE is the giant monster. Anne Hathaway is our leading girl in this and always plays crazy pretty well. Sudeikis is our support and really takes this movie home for me. Not only does he break away from his normal comic relief bit, but he sells everything he does in this. I wouldn’t mind more roles with him like this… After watching trailers for this movie I have gained a lot of respect for the way they went about certain aspects of it, the largest one being the characters. This is a very character driven film, it isn’t about the monsters at all in fact, it’s about the people and the monsters are just used as way to progress the characters. What the trailers do is present us with enough entertainment that we sign up to watch it, only to give us something entirely different than what we thought. At first I hated that and was quite upset, after some time though I am glad they did it that way. I was caught off guard. I was also caught off guard with some character twists in the movie too. I have watched a lot of movies to the point that I can accurately predict most movies after about fifteen minutes and I could never pin this one down. It’s not without error though. The ending, though satisfying, is someone unfulfilling. Lots of questions I have will never be answered and lots of loose ends are still dangling. In the end though I enjoyed this movie, if only for the sheer fact that my wife and I couldn’t even decide if we liked how much it fucked with us.

Tomb Raider movie review

Tomb_Raider_(2018_film).png

So, I hate to break it to you, but there is no point to see this movie… It didn’t have a SINGLE Destiny’s Child song in it…

So Tomb Raider, the 2018 version, is a basically a prequel to the original movies and a reboot to the franchise. Alicia Vikander was cast to play Lara Croft and I think they really couldn’t have chosen anyone better. Now, I always think the opening to a movie is very important. It hooks you and reals you in, keeps you excited for whats to come. Clearly the people who made this movie do not agree because the first act of this movie is a damn snooze-fest! I understand that this is an origin story and we need to see where Lara was before she became the tomb raider, but I don’t need a twenty-minute sequence of her as a bike messenger. Eventually though it DOES get to the point and although it has its faults I have to admit, for a video game adaptation movie it really felt like a video game adaptation. There were so many sequences where I found myself thinking that it looked like it was lifted straight out of a video game! Whether she was stealthing, clearly doing live-action QTE’s, having a boss fight, going from one bad thing in to another, it was quite remarkable actually and I will give it points for that. However, it does have faults. One of its biggest and most important being that it was just kind of boring. It was two hours, almost on the dot, and should have been much shorter. It had so much filler and parts that I just wished would be over. I wanted to like it, it was trying so hard to be exciting but it barely even kept my attention. I want my tombs!

My top 5 MCU movies

1200px-MarvelLogo.svg.png

Circle movie review

Circle_(2015_film)_cover_art

If you are bored and flipping through Netflix looking for something, anything to watch just to not be bored anymore, than look no further! Circle is a random suspense movie that I stumbled upon with a brilliant premise for a suspense movie on a budget… Circle is about fifty strangers who wake up in a room together in, you guessed it, a giant circle. They soon find out that every couple of minutes one of them dies at random if they don’t choose who dies until only one remains. Really, the concept behind this is very simple and truly elegant for a low-budget suspense movie. The writers had so much on their shoulders and absolutely killed it. Everything about this movie relied on believable yet dramatic dialogue that builds tension. While watching this you are constantly shifty eyed towards character and trying to figure out who is good or bad, guessing who will eventually win and how. As much as I thought this movie would just be something that would hold my attention for a couple of hours, it’s a concept that still has me thinking months after watching it.

Iliza Shlesinger: Elder Millennial stand-up review

poster-iliza-elder-millennial-2018

I had taken a break from stand-up comedy for a while because I hadn’t been finding any of them to be all that funny, not even from some of my favorite comedians. Well, my wife started watching this so I figured, why not? I was pleasantly surprised on her take on things and was laughing my ass off the entire time! Iliza starts off by giving her take on things as a millennial on the very edge of being a millennial. Which as someone who is proud to where the millennial stamp and can also laugh at it, REALLY enjoyed. The rest of her act was her observations on relationships and women in general, which sounds  like it wouldn’t be that interesting for a guy but I would actually urge guys to watch this! It gives some hilarious insights to women, flirting, bars, sex, just a lot. Throughout the special as well there are hashtags of hilarious quotes in her routine, which is absolutely genius because my wife and I are going around saying shit like “Hashtag, Welcome To Fuck-Dome!” In the end it’s a must watch if you are needing a laugh and don’t want to be let down.

John Green books: Best-Still good

10JOHNGREEN-articleLarge.jpg

(I would just like to say that ALL of his books are fantastic and he has been my biggest inspirations as a writer)

Avengers: Infinity War movie review

MV5BMjMxNjY2MDU1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNzY1MTUwNTM@._V1_.jpg

Well here it is. The big one. Everything that a decade of Marvel and eighteen movies have led up to. No ones expectations could be higher, it had so much to live up to… And you know what? It NAILED it. Avengers: Infinity war is what everything was always leading up to. The Avenger are all assembled, with a massive number of them now, all to fight Thanos as he is nearing completion in uniting all of the Infinity stones and wiping out half of the universe. This is probably one of the most exciting movies I have ever seen for many reasons, probably the biggest though being that I got to see crossovers from heroes I only dreamed of seeing together! What is really cool is that no one seems to be left behind. Certain characters may only be in here for what feels like minutes but it always feels like they contributed exactly what they needed to. Because of that though it is also a stupidly long movie. Don’t misunderstand me, that is certainly not a complaint, I could have happily sat through it if it was triple the length… Much like every Marvel movie the comedy is prevalent and there without ever really taking away from the tone of the movie, which is ever-changing. As you switch between heroes you follow the tone and feel of the movie changes on a dime. When we go to the Guardians you get some cool 80’s jam and humor, then it switches to Wakanda and we get the tribal music everyone associates with Black Panther. However, the comedy isn’t there as much as other Marvel movies and you have to go into this realizing it isn’t going to pull punches like other Marvel movies either. Right from the opening scene it proves that there are going to be much darker takes in here than anywhere else and it keeps proving that right up until the bitter end. It’s difficult to write a review for the most anticipated movie in a decade without giving anything away so I’m going to leave it here. After watching this, you will have just as much you want to say as I want to!

Detroit: Become Human game review

images.jpg

Play Station exclusives man… Play Station gets all the good ones…. Detroit: Become Human is the latest masterpiece by Quantic Dream and David Cage, the french powerhouse behind The acclaimed 2010 game, Heavy Rain. I’m a sucker when it comes to decision based games. If I could play a game that is just a movie I make the decisions in, that is probably all I would ever play. Well, this is as close as I think you will ever get. Just like Heavy Rain, Detroit is absolutely beautiful, I could spend hours just exploring and taking in all the beauty and small details. What is great about this game that sets it apart from most other decision based games is that it really feels like every tiny thing matters. You could make a seemingly small decision in the beginning of the game that I didn’t make and have an entirely different outcome at the end… Detroit: Become Human follows three story lines; Conner, Marcus, and Kara/Alice. All of them intertwine at one point or another, but Conner and Marcus play opposite sides of the same coin throughout the game. Conner, the android sent by Cyberlife, is investigating the deviants and trying to stop them with the help of Lt. Hank Anderson, a surly, android hating detective. Their chemistry and how they play off each other is EASILY the best part of the game. Marcus is the one leading the deviants to freedom and you can basically either be Jesus, or fucking Hitler when it comes to him. No real middle ground, just savior or devil and I love it so much. Kara and Alice round out the final story line and are honestly pretty expendable. They show the parental and family capabilities of the androids, but you could kill them off early on and it honestly wouldn’t even matter. Their honestly kind of boring at times. In conclusion this game is beautiful and nothing short of a masterpiece in my eyes. No two people will have the exact same experience playing through, meaning you can also play through countless times by yourself. Love.

Pacific Rim: Uprising movie review

MV5BMjI3Nzg0MTM5NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwOTE2MTgwNTM@._V1_UX182_CR0,0,182,268_AL_.jpg

It’s hard to review a movie that is just merely as okay as this one is. Pacific Rim: Uprising follows the son of Stacker Pentacost, Jake, who is played by John Boyege. Jake was once a promising Jaeger pilot, but left the program to pursue a life of partying. The war against Kaiju is deemed to be over, but someone out there is controlling evil Jaegers remotely trying to take out pilots. That is until the kaiju come back with a plan to take out the world entirely!.. To be honest I don’t even know HOW I would make this movie sound interesting. The plot of the movie is very clearly the first thing someone thought to do to make a sequel, with literally no creativity added in. None of the actors we loved from the first are back, except maybe for Charlie Day, but he is given such a shitty role to play in this that it makes the movie worse because of it. I was very disappointing, the first one was exactly what I wanted out of a monster vs. robot movie and this one doesn’t capitalize on my excitement at all, it just kind of coasts by.

Jurassic Park/World series: Best-Worst

jurassic-world-2-logo-png-transparent.png