I went in to see Jumanji excited, but trying not to keep my hopes up too high. It’s a star studded movie, with actors that are all hilarious and brilliant in their own way. It looked incredibly funny in the trailers, and was preforming crazy-good at the box office… Yet still it is a sequel to JUMANJI. A sequel we never needed or wanted and what seemed to be a clear cash grab. I was nervous just like most people were. Well, if you are reading this before seeing the movie than I am here to tell you that there is no reason to be nervous. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is one of the funniest movies I have seen in recent years. I was rolling with laughter almost through the entire movie and it is all because of the four actors they casted. If you are unfamiliar with the premise of this new Jumanji, it is a sequel to the original and similar only in the aspect that this game sucks to play. Instead of the game coming into the real world through the board, it transports the players into the jungle of Jumanji through a video game and has them play their characters. THAT is where the brilliance of the comedy comes in play. Dwayne Johnson is playing (being played by?) a little wimpy, nerdy kid, Kevin Hart is a huge jock, Karen Gillan is an introverted girl self unconscious about her appearance, and Jack Black is a hot, prissy girl. Every single one of these actors CLEARLY has a ball with this and makes it even funnier. Dwayne Johnson telling himself not to cry and being afraid of squirrels is enough to make this movie, but then you have Karen Gillan trying to flirt, and Kevin Hart with his usual short jokes too! The stand out is Jack Black however. Jack Black was the essence of a stuck-up, prissy, hot girl and it was god-damn amazing to watch. A running gag about him learning about his penis, “It’s like a handle!”, is just the tip of the iceberg… Further than the actors you have a great world. They had a lot of fun playing with common video game tropes such as NPC’s, and character strengths/weaknesses. In the end I had a really good time at the theater watching this, and I know you will too.
Probably going to be one of the only good movies based off of a game and it’s Rampage… That is extremely hilarious to me… Rampage, if you don’t know, is an old video game with a very simple concept. Destroy the city faster than your friends destroy the city. Be either a huge gorilla, wolf, or crocodile. Not only does it appear that the essence of meaningless destruction and awesomeness was captured in this, but they also threw in Dwayne Johnson for good measure! I’m going to go see this in theaters not because there is ANY part of me that thinks this will be a good film, but because it will be super bad ass to watch on the big screen with surround sound.
PS. If that wolf or gorilla die I will be very upset.
These types of movies are my guilty pleasure, so I enjoyed the hell out of this. I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass and tell you this is a good movie though, because it is very clearly not. Baywatch is a movie adaptation/continuation of the original TV show that we all associate slow motion bouncing boobs to. It follows Mitch (Dwayne Johnson) as one of the best lifeguards in the business, but often takes his job too far thinking he has official police-like authority. Matt (Zac Efron) is a young Olympic athlete that fell from grace and is being forced to be a lifeguard for them for probation. He’s young, cocky, thinks he is better than everyone, and you see where this is going… The movie is far fetched, with them stopping a drug/illegal real-estate operation. Honestly it’s confusing and weird, but I have no problem with it. I have no problem with it because although I never saw the show I realize it kinda goes of the deep end with stories. So, in my eyes, the movie is just staying true! What I do have a problem with however is that this balls-to-the-wall, hold-no-bars comedy I was expecting with powerhouses of acting prowess barely made me laugh AT ALL. That is my problem, and that is why I can not in good conscious recommend it, despite my enjoyment of it.
I wasn’t going to watch Moana, but, it is on Netflix now so I watched Moana. Moana follows Moana, a girl who is destined to be chief of her people on an island but is called to the ocean. However, her island is dying from a darkness and she must venture out to find Maui, a demigod who is the only person that can save her people and bring life back to the ocean. So, Moana is good. There is no doubt about that, and I will not try to dispute it. The voice acting is on point, Dwayne Johnson obviously being the highlight. The story is original and I had a good time. One thing that stand out to me is the water animation, which looked absolutely amazing… It is however, a rather forgetful movie. It didn’t have the impact on me that other animated movies such as Up, Inside Out, Brave, or Frozen had. I watched it a couple days ago, and even looking back now I couldn’t tell you any of the songs… I watched it once, and I liked it, but that was enough.
The tag line “a little Hart and a big Johnson” is a brilliant tag line and we must all admit that… Central Intelligence follows Calvin (Hart) and Bob (Johnson). In high school Calvin was the best at literally everything. Drama club, football, grades, popularity, and once when Bob (who was then Bobby) was thrown naked in front of the whole school Calvin helped him and he never forgot… Now 20 years later Bob Stone is in the CIA and kind of fucking crazy and he recruits the help of Calvin who is now an accountant and bored shitless with his life… There is a bit of backstory to explain this movie, and it’s not until writing this that I realize how weird it sounds trying to explain it!.. This movie is absolutely hilarious though, one of the better action comedies I have seen in a long time… The action was awesome and over the top and EVEN gave me goose bumps once!.. The comedy duo of Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson is something I could watch over and over and over again! They clearly had so much fun with this, especially Dwayne Johnson! It is rare he gets to play a weird, goofy character like this… The thing about Bob Stone though is I couldn’t figure out if he was funny, awkward, or annoying. Whatever he is although there are moments he is a little much he IS fucking hilarious, just like this movie.
6 years. 6 years since 2012 came out and we can’t make a better god damn disaster movie? I would have even settled for the same level of disaster movie, just give it a different story line! San Andreas follows a father, who saves his ex wife, who has since moved on to a rich new man, and his kid… sound familiar? The other part of the story line follows a professor who has done research and found out that there is a way to predict the disaster, but no one listened… sound familiar? There are countless more, but I don’t spoil, so see for yourself (or just watch 2012). One thing I was hoping San Andreas would deliver on was making you care about the characters, it went in the opposite direction. Even towards the end, when everything is royally screwed, you don’t care about these characters. Why? Because they are unkillable, which they make very clear from the start. At least they tried to explain that they were surviving because the girls father had taught her survival tricks. And I did enjoy the characters, they all seemed to care about the movie and had good stories. Either way though, I was very disappointed. Just see 2012, or Day After Tomorrow, or almost any other disaster movie.