I was going to review the Power Rangers trailer until I saw this hilarious piece of trash and I HAD to talk about it. A movie about being a lineman and the tough job and lifestyle they have and how dangerous it is. Want to know how to make it less dangerous? Stop walking on pylons during storms. Learn how to cut down poles. Turn off electricity before you start working. Those are a few options! My favorite part of this trailer is how they make linemen seem like the true heroes none of us know about. Like, how they have to get the power turned off so firefighters can do their job. Conclusion: Linemen are more important and more brave than firefighters, OR, how a girl is with a guy and says he is a lineman like its some huge thing, like it is a good enough reason to be with him. Conclusion: Being a lineman is so hot right now. What is with Travolta’s accent anyway? Its truly awful… Next from Travolta “Waste of Time”, he is a garbage man that needs to clear the roads of cans so the police officers can get through. “Same Shingle, Different Day”, now he is a roofer that needs to stop the leak in the hospital so the doctors can work without the worry of getting dripped on! We are officially out of original ideas if this is the shit we get now.
So this is the the first review I am writing since my hiatus for 5 weeks. I had a good number of reviews post while I was gone that were pre-written, but this is my first one writing since being back. It’s very exciting! The other day I went to see The Martian. I was only able to see it in 3D and at first I was a little disappointed about that. The last movie I saw in 3D was Green Hornet and it was shit, so not a good reference point on my part… I am VERY happy I saw this in 3D! I will get to the movie as a whole in a moment but for right now I would like to urge you to see this in 3D if possible. Very little of the movie actually popped out, and what did (such as the HUD on the helmet) was done perfectly. More so what it did was add depth to the vast, beautiful landscape of mars. It was truly an amazing visual experience! Now, on to the movie. The movie was fucking spectacular, lets just get that out of the way. I have nothing bad to say about this movie, so if you want to know literally nothing about it stop reading now and go to your theater. As many of you know the movie follows Mark Watney after he is abandoned on a mars mission, assumed dead. He has to work to survive here for 4 years with enough supplies to last him a month. The first thing I noticed is that the movie takes no time getting to the point, with his crew leaving him behind within the first 15 minutes. The next thing I noticed is that this movie is hilarious. It could have easily been a depressing movie about a mans loneliness on mars. But its not, it’s hilarious. Watney jokes about farming in his own shit, dipping his food in Vicodin, and the terrible taste of music his captain has. The dark humor in this is hilarious. As hilarious as this movie is, it is very suspenseful. One minute you are having a grand old time watching him find a new way to survive on Mars, the next you are holding your breath, sweating your ass off hoping he doesn’t die. Its amazing. Though this movie is mostly carried by Matt Damon himself, the supporting cast is great as well. With a superb lineup of Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Jeff Daniels (one of my favorites in this), Micheal Pena, Sean Bean, Kate Mara, Chiwetel Ejiofer, and Donald Glover, the moments on the space ship and Earth are just as entertaining as those on Mars. This movie is in my all time top 10 list easily. Though its a visual experience you don’t want to miss, I would enjoy watching it at home on my laptop. That, in my book, makes it a great movie.
Orange Is The New Black is a Netflix original series that just aired its third season. I absolutely love Netflix TV shows, its as if they can do nothing wrong! OISTNB at first follows Piper Chapman through her prison sentence after helping her ex girlfriend deal drugs on a huge scale. The interesting thing about OITNB is that you care so much more about all the other characters than the main character, and want to follow their stories more. As the series progresses it realizes this and makes the show more about Litchfield, the prison, as a whole. I realize almost any review ever will say something about how the character progression is wonderful, but you can’t mention this show with out talking about it. You get to see Piper go from a prissy middle class girl to a hardened prisoner. The relationships of prisoners, and the life inside. The amazing part about OITNB is that every episode it follows another character, showing flashbacks of their lives at important moments, and showing how they ended up in prison, or as a guard.The beautiful part of this is that you know every single small character on the same level you would know a main character you watched for 10 years. Very rarely is their a character you hate, because you see their lives, you sympathize. You like the guards, the prisoners, the people on the outside, and when you do hate someone, you love to hate them! Their are very few shows I enjoy binge watching as much. Season 3 just aired and I NEED season 4 now.
The Martian is the movie adaptation of the novel of the same name. It stars Matt Damon who appears to have trapped himself on yet another planet. I’m stoked for this, I realize I say that a lot, but that is kind of the job of a trailer. This however is based on a book that comes highly recommended from every person I have talked to that read it. In fact, I went straight to the library to check it out right after seeing the trailer. Now… The Martian is about Mark Watney, who after getting stranded on Mars when the mission evacuates, has to survive 4 years with only 31 days of supplies. How? Well in his words he will “Science the shit out of it”. I’m very happy that this trailer doesn’t fail in the aspect that most do. As is the case with most trailers, you watch the ENTIRE movie in three minutes. In this I feel like you see about 3/4, which while still unfavorable, is better than knowing the damn ending! The cast is happily stacked with names such as Damon, Wig, Bean, Glover, Daniels, and Scott. ($50 says that Sean Bean dies on the rescue mission.) Even though stellar casts don’t make good movies, such as my recently reviewed trailer, “Aloha”, I have a lot of confidence in this. I hope for all fans, I am not let down.
The League is a TV show about 6 long time friends that are obsessed with their small 8 man football team. The league is a great show to watch from the start. Every season starts with the drafting of the football teams, then hijinks ensue. Something I really like is that these characters have tons of inside jokes that you wouldn’t get if you didn’t watch everything, its a nice little laugh that makes you feel part of the group. Although this is just your standard sitcom about friends what it brings to the table is the friends themselves. There is absolutely no reason any of these people should be friends. The only two people I understand is Pete and Kevin. But, the show addresses this. They are fully aware that these people are only friends because no one else would be friends with them! Yet it works, and I love it. The best character by far is Taco, played by Jon Lajoie. For those of you that do not know Jon is a comedic music artist that smokes a lot of weed and is famous on Youtube. Besides being famous on Youtube, Taco is basically the same person. Though there was a few points where I started to get uninterested, the show addresses this and picks it back up. I will definitely continue with the series
The Walk is the true story of Philippe Petit, the man who walked between the twin towers on a tight rope. Much like the award winning documentary about the same exact thing. Also, I have to ask, doesn’t it take away all the suspense and drama since we all know he lives? Obviously he doesn’t fall off, that would be a super depressing movie! Either way, I‘m looking forward to this movie, despite it being a clear Oscar grab. But movies usually get Oscar’s for a reason, because they are good. The film is directed by Robert Zemeckis, who has done Forrest Gump, Flight, and Cast Away, which they proudly tell you in the trailer. That is great, but what is honestly more exciting to me is Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who I have enjoyed in every last one of his roles! I have to hand it to the trailer, it has a good feel to it, it has great sound, not too many stereotypes…The best part is that I didn’t have to stop halfway through not to get spoiled! Sure, that’s mainly cause we all know what happens, but it’s still good. Finally I’m very happy that they were able to make this movie despite the tragic events of 9/11. I realize people are sensitive but this is an amazing, inspirational story that deserves to be told… again.
So I’m gonna let you guys in on a secret… I haven’t seen the original trilogy of Star Wars since I was a little kid. And as a little kid I didn’t like them enough, or understand enough to care. I always said that I would eventually watch them, but never got around to it. Well, an amazing thing happened. My local movie theater is doing an 80s at 8 every Thursday this summer, and this was the first choice. I tell you what, I never thought I would see these movies in theaters ever, and it was glorious. The music started, the words flew, and the audience cheered. I can only imagine that feeling times ten come December is what we will all be feeling. So I know it is the second one, but the first one is the only one I have seen repeatedly over the years. The Empire Strikes Back follows Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, and the loveable droids as they try to escape the evil Darth Vader. This movie is 35 years old and I know the graphics are a little lacking, but I don’t care. The graphics were good in Transformers 2, but I’m going to watch Star Wars before that! I’m going to use character names instead of actor names, because they literally fell into their role. My favorite character was EASILY Han Solo, the wise cracking, ladies man, smuggler. The relationship between him and Leia is one of the best in movie history. Luke was great too, but I don’t feel he hit his stride till the end. Though I did love his training montage! I also see why an entire generation basically has a fetish for Princess Leia! I have a great deal of respect for the fact that the whole movie took place over a very short period of time, yet we traveled all over the galaxy without losing track of the point. And IF you have have been hiding under a rock for 35 years you will LOVE the twist ending! All in all this is a near perfect sci-fi movie, and a great movie that will be a part of history. Watch it.